TRIGGER!! DISCUSSION ON SUICIDAL IDEATION

So, the other day I asked what you wanted me to write about regarding mental health. I got several emails requesting a discussion on suicidal ideation in major depression. It makes me extremely nervous to even talk or write about this subject. But over 50% of the emails I received asked me to talk about it, so someone out there needs it. In my twenty plus years of living with severe major depression I only dealt with thoughts of suicide during one episode of depression but, that episode lasted nearly 2 years. I talk extensively about it in my book, It's The Depression Talking. In fact, it is that episode and those thoughts that gave me the name for my book. After recovery I learned my thoughts were the depression talking, not me. When I was thinking my life was hopeless and only full of pain, it was the depression talking not me. It's tricky and you really do believe those thoughts without realizing they are untrue and illogical. Those thoughts did not even scare me at the time. I wasn't running to the doctor scared or pleading for help. No, I stayed isolated in my bedroom, crying. But, what really scares me now is how much I actually believed what the depression was telling me. There is only a very small window you can grab to stop those thoughts, and you really have to act fast or they quickly begin to race. That is the way it happen for me at least. If this happens to you, you must reach our for help. It is imperative to talk with someone immediately, don't wait! It took months and many hours on the phone with a good friend who could relate to what I was going through, but I was finally able to get myself to the doctor and on medication. If you ever find yourself in this situation remember IT'S THE DEPRESSION TALKING, that negative self-talk is a lie. Call someone who understands you and you can be open with. Keep that support system close and never be afraid or embarrassed to reach out for help.