IS DEPRESSION SELFISH?

If you suffer from depression I am sure at one time or another you have heard someone claim that depressed people are selfish people. I don't hear it as often as I once did, but I do hear it every now and again. I guarantee whoever is saying this, simply does not understand depression. I urge you to try and understand where these individuals are coming from, instead of getting angry with them as I have in the past. Depression can appear selfish to someone that does not know better. They only see the outside; the person that does not show up, the person that doesn't return phone calls, the person who is in bed for days and leaves everything up to everybody else to get done. This is the stigma, selfish and lazy. This is also one of the biggest reasons I wrote my book, so that these people -- who are sometimes our friends and family -- can learn how and what depression is all about. In my book I quote the definition of selfish as, "Concentrating on ones own advantage, pleasure, or well-being without regard for others." Now I know that those of you suffering from depression are probably laughing right now saying, "Yeah, right depression is sooo selfish!"  I know, I know. We are laughing because there is no "pleasure" in depression, and usually when we are in the throes of a depression we are thinking more about the people we have let down, rather than ourselves. Allow me to quote from my book here, referencing one of my darkest days, "I certainly wasn't experiencing any pleasure. There is absolutely no pleasure when you are clinically depressed, zero. As for concentrating on, "my own well-being without regard for others," that would be totally inaccurate as well. When I was locked up in my bedroom battling depression I wasn't concerned in the least with my own well-being. I was concerned that I was taking away from others well-being. The guilt was eating me alive that I was to blame for everyone around me that was unhappy due to my depression." I am assuming this is the way most of us feel while caught in the web of a deep depression. If you are trying to get through to someone who believes the stigma of depression, be patient with them. Suggest books and websites where they can read others stories of depression. Be open and honest with them about your symptoms. Until they "get it" concentrate on your recovery and staying healthy. Just as you don't want them to give up on you, don't you give up on them.